Writing in journals was once a forte of mine. However, in the past few years I seem to have lost the ability to write down the events of my life and thoughts thereafter. There are times in which I will pick up a pen, open my locked diary, and write down the cascade of events that have befallen me. Usually these events are life-altering to some degree. Lately I find myself writing in my diary often, and almost always find that my entries are about my boyfriend.
Why am I confused?
I received an email on facebook. Prior to receiving this email, my boyfriend had been complaining about one of his ex's that would not leave him alone. He called her psycho, obsessive, etc. The email I received on facebook was from her. It was very detailed and contained valuable information. Basically the bitch stated that she is in a relationship with my boyfriend, they are sleeping together, and when he is not with me he is with her. This confuses me and makes me nervous. My boyfriend has barely any free time, let alone any to drive 20 miles to see her. My boyfriend is also a little cheap so I don't know why he would pay gas money to drive to her. I trust my boyfriend but I am confused and nervous. What if this woman is not lying? What if my boyfriend really is cheating on me? How do I find out the total truth without breaking the trust bond I have with him?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
modern day internet
Exactly what is it with the world anymore? I'm not sure how one minute everything in life is floating peacefully by and the next it's crashing down around you.
I want to fix the mistakes I've made, but I can't go back in time. I want to prove to myself that I deserve the life I'm leading, but I'm not sure how to do that.
Today some interesting things happened to me. Actually, all week interesting things have been happening to me. Its shameful to say, that I have stuff to be worried about while there is so much other corruption in the world. Who am I to make my life seem any more worthful than those around me? My complaints are complex and I am not worthy of the attention I may get from it.
So what happened on March 26th 2009 that has me going on about ethics and moral? Well, its hard to pinpoint where to start. I could say it all began with the moment I awoke, but that isn't true. Maybe it was when I chose to wear my orange shirt instead of a blue, or maybe it was when I chose eggs with brekky.
All I know is something happened today and from there it only got worse.
I got a call from my mother letting me know of a few issues happening on the north front.
Apparently some cunt that works in my schools mailroom has been stealing my mail. My Nan got a call from a detective this afternoon questioning her about mail she'd sent me and letting her know my mail had been stolen. The significance of this to me is that I am a little OCD about mail. I check my mail no less than twice a day, I can't help it, I have to.
For the first half of the year I had mail almost every day, it was fantastic. Then at some point this semester it all just stopped. I thought people just didn't have time, but I still persisted to check twice daily. I even had a friend who sent me something about two months ago and we were both wondering what happened to it.
This may sound petty to you, but it is important to me. I am fond of mail, and besides it is MY mail. Personal things people have sent me.
Ok, so aside from being a victim of theft there, I'm also currently receiving some credit card fraud.
Oh, and on a side note my mother lets me know that her stepmother, whom I may never have actually met in person but still consider family- is in the hospital and maybe near death. Her liver is failing, she has had cancer for years, and its only getting worse. Apparently my mother needs to fly across country to be there in case something happens because we are the only family she has.
There is more going on, school and such, but for now I need to take a breather. Plus, I don't want my readers to think I'm not strong enough to handle conflict. I am, I just need a break sometimes.
I want to fix the mistakes I've made, but I can't go back in time. I want to prove to myself that I deserve the life I'm leading, but I'm not sure how to do that.
Today some interesting things happened to me. Actually, all week interesting things have been happening to me. Its shameful to say, that I have stuff to be worried about while there is so much other corruption in the world. Who am I to make my life seem any more worthful than those around me? My complaints are complex and I am not worthy of the attention I may get from it.
So what happened on March 26th 2009 that has me going on about ethics and moral? Well, its hard to pinpoint where to start. I could say it all began with the moment I awoke, but that isn't true. Maybe it was when I chose to wear my orange shirt instead of a blue, or maybe it was when I chose eggs with brekky.
All I know is something happened today and from there it only got worse.
I got a call from my mother letting me know of a few issues happening on the north front.
Apparently some cunt that works in my schools mailroom has been stealing my mail. My Nan got a call from a detective this afternoon questioning her about mail she'd sent me and letting her know my mail had been stolen. The significance of this to me is that I am a little OCD about mail. I check my mail no less than twice a day, I can't help it, I have to.
For the first half of the year I had mail almost every day, it was fantastic. Then at some point this semester it all just stopped. I thought people just didn't have time, but I still persisted to check twice daily. I even had a friend who sent me something about two months ago and we were both wondering what happened to it.
This may sound petty to you, but it is important to me. I am fond of mail, and besides it is MY mail. Personal things people have sent me.
Ok, so aside from being a victim of theft there, I'm also currently receiving some credit card fraud.
Oh, and on a side note my mother lets me know that her stepmother, whom I may never have actually met in person but still consider family- is in the hospital and maybe near death. Her liver is failing, she has had cancer for years, and its only getting worse. Apparently my mother needs to fly across country to be there in case something happens because we are the only family she has.
There is more going on, school and such, but for now I need to take a breather. Plus, I don't want my readers to think I'm not strong enough to handle conflict. I am, I just need a break sometimes.
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