anxiety

I feel so utterly anxious. The overwhelming flow of depression has hit me full speed, without warning, and I feel like I'm crashing into a dangerous oblivion. I don't want to feel this way, no. And so when the time comes to leave my cave, I will not be this way. The public eye will see me as a person who smiles, who laughs, who enjoys life, and who hasn't a care in the world. This is how it will be, or so I hope. Not even I can assume that all people to pass me by will overlook the sadness hidden in my eyes. I am not a depressing person, no. Dear reader, I am simply a girl who struggles with bi-polar disorder. It is an internal battle which I face each day, some days with more fervor than others. I want to quell the demons within myself, but sometimes I feels too good to succumb to them. The darkness around me is suffocating and I'm allowing myself to drown within it. The only light, which shines bright, comes from the screen in front of my face. It illuminates my skin in an eerie glow which reminds me that I am no different than the next lonely person, quelling their depression. We are two and the same.